Lately

Can I just say that I know it’s been a LONG time since I’ve written a blog on here, but damn. It’s been an uphill climb just to keep one foot in front of the other over the last six months. The last time I was unmedicated was before I had kids, before I got married or even met my husband. So now I’m finding myself living the same life I’ve been living for the last twelve years but without the thing that keeps me between the ditches. I’ve never been married or been a mother without medication. There’s a lot of anxiety around that, but I’ve been doing my best to go easy on myself.

It’s always been really important to me that my books are a safe place for people with mental health (especially proud of Water Under The Bridge for that reason). My social media is full of mental health positive messages, so I’m doing my best to make sure that I’m applying the things that I give to others to myself as well.

Unfortunately, going off my anxiety/depression medication (it was giving me heart palpitations because I was on it for too long…something I wished I had known years ago, but oh well), has changed how I do everything in my life. It’s difficult to not be hard on myself for not keeping up with chores, or with being less present with my kids and my husband. It’s hard not to feel the pass of every week knowing I haven’t written anything and that the publishing deadline for Lee and Emma’s story is getting pushed back further and further.

I’m nervous to try new medications. Side effects are no joke and I’ve had a lot of withdrawal symptoms (both emotional and physical) as I’ve tapered off, so I’m not looking forward to having more weird symptoms because of a new drug that may not even work for me. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m worn out from feeling worn down. It’s been a journey just to get off that medication, and that’s only half of what needs to happen.

If anything though, this is all just a big reminder that mental health is one of those things that needs to be talked about, written about, and read about—especially in mainstream romance novels. It’s important to tell readers who struggle with mental health that they’re still worthy of and capable of the kind of love that bestselling authors write about.

Lastly, if you’re not doing well, please, please don’t suffer in silence. Therapy and medications are daunting but without them, I know without a doubt that I wouldn’t have met my husband or had children. Please be gentle with yourself, whether you’re struggling or not, and check on your loved ones. Sometimes the people who seem the happiest are just putting on a good show because talking about what hurts is never comfortable. Have grace for yourself and have grace for others.

All the best,